Published Works by J.M. Sanders

Short Horror Stories & Humor Essays

 

The Red Light

Published: Dark Harbor Magazine

There is a light out there. A red light in a house so far off the beaten path it's bruised with neglect. It should have been forgotten. Was for decades. But that hardly matters now. What does is avoiding the light. Completely. Unless you can't. And if you can't, I'll see you soon. 

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Thanks for Applying. Now Dance Monkey!

Published: Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

We’re so excited about your interest in joining our corporate family. Your trust means the world to us, and we can assure you that a real person, not some automated AI bot, reviewed your application very carefully.

We also know your time is limited, so we will gladly waste as much of it as possible. To ensure you are a good fit for our company culture, please answer this brief questionnaire.

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Saw: Toddler Edition

Published: Frazzled

Hello, Mommy. I want to play a game. And no, I don’t mean that insufferable Hi, Ho! Cherry-O. Instead, I’ve devised three devastatingly brutal traps to test your mettle and your last ounce of patience as a parent. Let the games begin.

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How to Raise Proper Children in the Age of Corporate Overlords

Published: Frazzled

Parents are told every day that whatever they’re doing as parents is wrong. There’s a better way to get your kid to try new foods, you big dummy. Here’s how to actually encourage your kids’ accomplishments, you dolt. The way you’re putting your kid to sleep will inevitably turn them into a complete psychopath.

As they say, it takes a village.

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A One-Star Review of an AI Coffee Kiosk

Published: The Haven

As a member of elite society, one holds certain things to a standard. Wine should be paired with an elegant roquefort, bread should be co-oped using the finest organic ingredients, and coffee should be hot — exactly 55 C.

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My Downward Spiral, Illuminated by a Jar of Discount Peanut Butter

Published: Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

I’ve been here before. There were all the telltale signs. Smudges of brown. An EPIPen casually in a pocket. The lingering smell of legumes, just barely noticeable behind the mint. I have a problem, and their name is Peanut Butter.

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Press from my time at Eat24

Eat24 Breaks Up With Facebook

Eat24 Successfully Receives $0 In VC Funding

Eat24 Study: POMO is the new FOMO

Burrito Koozy

Top 10 Mispronounced Food